Featured-Wooden signpost with two opposite arrows over green leaves background. NEGATIVITY versus POSITIVITY directional signs, Choice concept image — Photo by stanciuc1

Everybody has dreams, ambitions and aspirations in life. Aspirations to be successful and prosperous. Aspirations to live a happy life; a fulfilling life. Aspirations for self actualization and redemption from alleys of poverty. Who aspires to live a disillusioned life?? Hopelessness? Abject poverty? Yes! Nobody. Even pessimists have aspirations. Not of doom but of light. They have hope and expectations of positive things but seek refuge from presumably expected frustrations in their pessimistic belief.

Beyond all our aspirations and dreams, there are obstacles we must conquer to actualize these dreams. The most toxic obstacle you will always encounter is negativity. Negative is term that has bad connotations apart from medical jargon. You are HIV positive! I bet that’s the moment you realize the opposite of term negative is a nightmare. A horror particularly. But, that’s an exceptional case! Negativity is a worse disease than HIV. It’s toxic. It toment the mind and kills the dreams. It breaks the brave and captures the strong. It dilutes vehemence into laziness. It converts optimists into pessimists. It’s a killer


Then where does negativity creeps from into our lives? Well, there are many sources but majorly, it’s projected by people around us. By people I mean friends and relatives. Have you ever sat down and analyzed the kind of people you interact with? The value they add in your life? What impact do they have towards you goals on life? These are core questions that you should always question yourself. They should help you to choose the kind of people you interact and share your ideas with. There’s a famous saying that says “you are the sum total of you friends’ character.” Yes! I agree in totality. The people around determine your course. Your dreams and aspirations are not independent of environment you live in.

This leads me to talk about a category of people who always exist in our vicinity. They are always there as relatives or friends. These are people who are always NEGATIVE towards everything. They are frustrated creatures who believe in doom. They are killers of dreams. I happen to have come across a bunch of them. These are people who will critique all you decisions and moves. They see everything from a depression angle or rather negative perspective.

These are people who will be the first to advise you where they themselves failed. They are always there to discourage you from partaking any project. They will show all the difficulties that will accompany whatever you want to do. They actually support their arguments with logical facts and seemingly real case examples. Their great power lies in their persistence. These people are venomous. They have misled and killed the dreams of many people.

Learn to avoid negative people in your life. It’s better to lose a bunch of friends than kill your dreams. If it’s education, focus on it. Don’t listen to those mongrels telling you that education is useless nowadays. That’s according to them and you are not them. When you listen to them, they feed you with negative attitude. Negative attitude transforms into the fear of the unknown. The fear of failure. The fear that will never let you risk and pursue your worth. Don’t let negative vibrations suppress your vision.

It’s very painful to wake up in the morning full of energy and ideas but by sunset you are broken and hopeless. Your enthusiasm will have died within the course of the day as a result of interaction with negative people. They convert your vigour into stress and hopelessness.

It’s better to walk alone than walk with negative people. How happy is to associate with people who have same vision with you!

If you want to fly with eagles, don’t train with hens.


Lifestyle in disguise

Those who are ardent addicts of social media, particularly twitter, know what happened to koki kihara recently . She was trolled for and maimed under the hash tag #kokikihara challange. What a humiliating experience! She was mocked simply because of her fake lifestyle or rather fake personality she wanted her audience to perceive. Ironically, those trolling her are her replica. They live the same kind of life. Fortunately majority have never been bursted like koki simply because they do it on a lesser magnitude or perhaps they have perfected the art of masking their ideal personality to project a factious one-the one they desire.
Many questions arise. Why disown self and live a life of somebody else? This has always been a question of interest to me. I have yearned to fathom the reasons perpetuating self denial; the real self. Somebody living a life probably he/she desire but he/she is not capable. This must be serious disease in town yet to be discovered. It’s cancerous! It kills your personality and by the time you realise, it’s beyond repair.
A quick glance over various profile on social media platforms will reveal controversial bio data. Most individuals, for instance live in Nairabi and have gone to particular university. This is contrary on the flip side of life. Most of them have never breathed the air (pathetic oduor) around the capital nor seen the door of a university lecture hall. Somebody must have lied to the masses. Building a reputable name and an appealing profile on social media doesn’t mean you must be a graduate of a particular university. After all, even the academic achievement is not a parameter for success in life. I understand the prestige that comes with living in a country’s capital especially to those who had never had a chance to taste the nasty life there. The hustle and bustle of the masses there; the pathetic streets with all kind of rot, the daily terrors of encountering riots and idle lads ready to snatch anything valuable on their sight. Life is simply a turmoil in capitals! Not unless you are a first class citizen which is rare. The power of connections rule there!

Back to my disturbing questions. Why such kind of lifestyle? Is it due to western civilization? A desire for good life? Solitude? Disillusionment?. It may be one or a hybrid of various factors. We live in a country where fake is a central term in our daily vocabulary. Go shopping anywhere and you will always be presented with two commodities with varying prices. Be inquisitive and the answer is obvious; one is original and the other is fake. A typical shop attendant will recommend the fake one, leave alone our irresistible desire for cheap things. This dual kind of existence is what has encroached even into our lifestyles. It’s an era of dual lifestyles; the real lifestyle and the social media lifestyle.
Recently, a sarcastic joke pops up my whatsapp messenger. “madem wengi hawataingia mbinguni juu sura yao haifanani na yenye iko kwa Angel Gabriel’s laptop.” What a sarcastic joke! The white man fed our minds with bullshit like a white skin man is superior than a black man. Our blackness becomes our weakness and this prompts ladies to go for bleaching creams. The first effect of bleaching will be low self esteem. You can lie to your skin that you are light skin but not your heart. Everytime you be the talk of town. You will receive all kind of mockery and insults. Too unfortunate if you are light hearted also because you can’t escape the claws of depression.
I’m not a social conservative nor a sociopath but there are limitations in everything that we do. Social media is not the platform to update all your moves unless you are an artist. Social media has lately became the cause number of family break ups, sour relationships, career retardation and even missing job opportunities. It’s has turned into the hub of hypocrisy. People singing melodies of how happy they are, how much they love their parents, how religious they are while in reality they languishing in a pool of problems. False life. Fake ideologies and pretense. Controversial biographies on social media will always lower your dignity when the truth pops up.
People should embrace the reality. Accept the real you. If you are broke accept hauna kakitu and work your way out. If you are emotionally sick work your way our rather than exposing your problems on social media. If you are sick, go to hospital rather than advertising it on social media. If you heartbroken, go seek God to guide you and give you peace of mind. People will only sympathise with you but deep in their heart they will be laughing at you. We have perfected the art of dual lives remember! Be you. Avoid inconsistencies between the real you and the social media you.

Life stories


1. Once upon a time I met a man who told me that telling the truth and making someone cry, is better than telling a lie and making someone smile and happy.

2. He said to me your true friends are those who will never avoid you just because they have met new friends.

3. As he kept on speaking to me, he said If some people do not appreciate and value my presence, I should work hard to make make them value and appreciate my absence.

4. He said I must not be angry with anyone who is quiet on me because there must be a reason why they are quiet, and that I will get to know the reason later.

5. He told me it is always better to be a blessing to others at all times than to be a burden at all times.

6. He said I must learn to forgive others not because they deserve it but because I deserve the peace that comes with forgiveness.

7. I must know that everyone deserves a second chance and many more chances if they ask for forgiveness, but I must not loose my guard over their intentions.

8. I must not only talk to people in my free time, but I must free my time to talk to people.

9. I must know that the truth may hurt for a little while, but a lie will hurt for a long time.

10. I must learn to value and respect people who tell you the Truth no matter how painful the truth is.

11. *I must make my decisions when I am in the right mood, not when I am angry, likewise I must not make promises when I am excited with high emotions.*

12. I must know that some people are like candles that burn themselves to give light to others. I should not have regrets if I happen to be one of such candles.

13. I must learn to be a caring friend because it is a thousand times better than a careless lover.

14. I should value and protect my relationships of many years of investments because they are like a book that takes years to write but can get burnt only within few seconds.

15. *He specifically said this repeatedly that If have a problem with someone, I should go tell the person and not go tell the world.*

16. He said to me that I should know that nobody is too busy, it is just a matter of their priorities within a day.

17. He said to me that people can trust you when you are consistent with what you say and what you do.

18. *He said with a low voice, only God can be totally trusted. Trust God 100%.*

19. *He then said no matter what, I must not forget those who helped and stood by me in my time of trials and during my difficult times.*

20. I must always remember those who turned their backs on me in my difficult times of trials. Not for vengeance, but for the lesson of life.

21. I must be careful with those who put me into difficult times but I must never hate them. It is a lesson of life.

22. He said again I must be grateful at all times to God for this life and for living. It is a privilege and not a right.

23. As he was leaving me, he said, always remember how temporary this world is, I must always be conscious of the reality of eternity with God in heaven or with Satan in hell fire.

24. He smiled and left waving me for a long time. Who must this man be?

25. What he told me may be useful to you, if it is, then share it.

God bless you more as you meditate upon these words from the unknown man.